The breakfast blog

“E don cast, last last

na everybody go chop breakfast.”

-Burnaboy

I told myself I would not shed any tears for you again because you are not worthy of my tears. But, here we go again. I failed.

I bet the universe is laughing at me. The women who came before me are probably shaking their heads in shame.

My friends don't even bother me anymore. They have spent the longer part of our time apart telling me to move on. I still remember the palpitations I felt when I saw you were unbothered about our breakup. It doesn't matter. I'm part of your past now. Did any of the memories we made matter to you?

On days like this, I can't help but think of you; I want to pick up my phone and call you. But then I remember how much you love to play with my emotions. It's not worth it.

I can't believe I was blind. I'm amazed by the lies I fell for. All that glitters is indeed not gold. I mean, the version of you I thought I had was all a lie. What is true then?

I must look like a fool to you. I mean the signs are all there. I see the red flags waving at me. I couldn't even see that we were so different. Like day and night, we both see things in different lights. I guess that's why we'll never be together. And it's why you can trample on my feelings and throw them out. Forgive my insecurities, but the last time I laid my feelings bare to you, you walked out. What is to say you won't do it again?

Do you even think of me? I'm right here fixing my broken heart, but you're everywhere with your new girlfriend. I'm jealous, not of what you have. I could be bothered; I'm just jealous that I'm not the one gallivanting with a new boo.

So, on days like these, when I'm tempted to text, I know you're just going to tell me you miss me and I should come over. Then you'll switch up on me because, to be honest; I'm not all that in your books.

I am done rating you. If you ever get to see this, I hope you know that I gave up on you. You're not all that in my books. I can't cry about us anymore because I'm aware that my tears are in vain. I'm still mad about the tears I wasted. So, if you ever see this, give me back the tears I cried.

I'm trying hard to be my old self again, but I'm stuck trying to find it. Time won't fly, and this time around, the universe thinks it's cool to take it's time.

It's okay though. I realized loving you is a losing game, so I'm focusing on the things that matter. I've been going out more, feeding off people's energy. I've met a lot of people who make it easy for me to exist and I've found freedom in that.

Now you say you want me back. Where do you get your audacity from? You fall out of love with me then you say you miss me. You keep saying you miss all that we were but I don't care. I've been there done that and frankly it's not appealing.

I might have been mad in love with you, but now I love myself.

-I just sneaked this in like I didn't ghost for a year 💀. I know I've not been consistent, but I'll try to do better. Maybe I'll get it right This time.

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